Say This to a Bride, and She Has Permission to Hit You!

Check out these really dumb and inappropriate things people say to brides. If you know what’s good for you, you won’t say any of them!

  • “I can’t believe you got him to settle down.”
  • “What time does the ceremony start?” (If you were invited, you already know; if you weren’t, you’re just embarrassing youself by trying to elbow your way in.)
  • “You want me to wear THIS?”
  • “Hi, this is my friend ***” (…an uninvited guest; did YOU bring a meal for that guest?)
  • “How much did you pay for all this?” (None of your d— business.)
  • “Can I change tables?” (The newlyweds spent a lot of time and thought in putting together their seating chart; and now you want to blow it all up for YOUR convenience?)
  • “Who requested this awful song?” (Won’t you feel like an idiot when the bride says, “My husband and I did”?)
  • “When are you planning to have kids?” (Like the bride hasn’t already been bugged enough by her mom.)
  • “Are you okay? You look tired.” (That’s especially stupid when the bride thinks she looks like a million bucks.)
  • “I can’t find the open bar.” (Maybe that’s because the couple didn’t have the budget for it; do you really want to rub that in their faces?) 
  • “Your gown looks great on you, even if it’s not MY cup of tea.” (Who cares about your tastes in fashion? You’re not the one getting married.)
  • “This trip cost me a fortune.” (Translation: “I’m doing you a big favor by coming to the wedding that you just spent $30,000 to $40,000 on; you owe me something.” That’ll make you REALLY popular.)

For God’s sake, THINK before you say something stupid, if you hope to ever speak to the bride again.

© Fourth Estate Audio, 2016 – Jay Congdon is president of Fourth Estate Audio, a professional Chicago DJ and Chicago Wedding DJ company.

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