Planning the ultimate fantasy wedding has a way of crashing into some unpleasant realities. Here are four that you can expect to pop up – if they haven’t already – and some smart ways you can easily defuse them and keep your dream wedding on track.
The disengaged groom. We’ve heard from hundreds of our brides that their grooms want to take a hands-off approach to their weddings, and let their mates do all the planning work (“My only job is to show up”). If they get involved at all, it’s only to undo their fiancees’ carefully laid plans with awkward last-minute changes. So what do you do? Ask your groom what areas of your wedding he’d like to oversee. Maybe he wants to pick your DJ, or choose your venue, or select your honeymoon destination. Let him. Once he has skin in the game, he’ll be a more “engaged” fiancée.
An army of “experts.” Once you reveal that you’re planning your wedding, everyone who’s ever known you will offer tons of unsolicited advice. Your mom and your in-laws will certainly try to mold your wedding in their own image, with you and your fiancée as mere props at their big party. And some of their advice will certainly be dreadful. Giant bows for your bridesmaids’ gowns? A seven-layer wedding cake? You get the idea. This is YOUR wedding, and it should reflect your tastes, not someone else’s. You can dismiss most unwanted advice with a simple “We’ve already taken care of that.” But for the people closest to you, it’s best to meet early and spell out what you want to control, and where there is room for their input. Who knows? They may even have something of value to contribute, and you may find yourself appreciating all the effort they put into your big day.
Unanswered invitations. Why do so many people believe they can RSVP three days before your wedding without causing you any hardship? Here’s one tip that may help: ask each guest to choose from a pre-selected list of entrees. It’s not rude to include a reminder that the number of meals and dinner tables will be equal to the number of guests who RSVP early. . Here’s another time-saving tip: as your fiancee, parents and in-laws all add names of people they want to invite, keep separate lists of who is inviting each guest. If Mom has ten friends who are dragging their feet in responding to your invitation, ask HER to call them and give them a gentle nudge.
Self-invited guests. What happens when a guest assumes he can bring a date, or bring her children? If you’re inviting a guest’s children, put each of their names on the card. Same with a friend and his wife. If a friend wants to take a date, and you’re okay with that, address the invitation to the friend “plus one,” and ask for “plus one’s” name on the RSVP card (you’ll need it for your table cards). If children are not invited, be sure you say so, with a simple line like “This is an adults-only reception. We regret that no provisions for children are being made.”
Being clear and firm with loved ones and guests from the very beginning will ensure that your wedding is the special experience you’ve envisioned.
To learn more about Fourth Estate Audio’s incomparable service, call me at 630.654.4440. I’m here to help.
© Fourth Estate Audio, 2015 – Jay Congdon is president of Fourth Estate Audio, a professional Chicago DJ and Chicago Wedding DJ company.comments powered by Disqus